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Letter "T" » Terry Pratchett Quotes
«Why are you so scared? Because I just saw the whole of my future life, and it didn't take very long.»
«What's so surprising about bacon? I dunno, I suppose it comes as something a a shock to the pig.»
«The plain fact of the matter was that the Disc was manifestly traversing space on the back of a giant turtle, and the gods had a habit of going round to atheists houses and smashing their windows.»
«'You won't get away with this,' said Cutwell. He thought for a bit and added, 'Well, you will probably get away with it, but you'll feel bad about it on your deathbed and you'll wish...' He stopped talking.»
«'It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever,' he said. 'Have you thought of going into teaching?'»
«Whatever happens, they say afterwards, it must have been Fate. People are always a little confused about this, as they are in the case of miracles. When someone is saved from certain death by a strange concatenation of circumstances, they say that's a miracle. But of course if someone is killed by a freak chain of events : the oil just spilled there, the safety fence just broke there : that must also be a miracle. Just because its not nice doesn't mean its not miraculous.»
«So many crimes are solved by a happy accident, by someone of the right nationality happening to be within 5 miles of the scene of the crime without an alibi.»
«The Monks of Cool, whose tiny and exclusive monastery is hidden in a really cool and laid-back valley in the lower Ramtops, have a passing-out test for a novice. He is taken into a room full of all types of clothing and asked: Yo, my son, which of these is the most stylish thing to wear? And the correct answer is: Hey, whatever I select.»
«Never build a dungeon YOU can't get out of.»
«The Gods Of The Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if thats where they believe, in their deepest hearts, that they deserve to go. Which they can't do if they don't know about it. This explains why it is important to shoot missionaries on sight»

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